R.I.P

We regret to inform you of the untimely passing of our faithful minidisc recorder, the Sony MD Walkman. After having dropped it onto a variety of surfaces (mainly rocks), our ability to record sound was tragically cut short.

In remembrance of its heroic service, we decided to see it off in the traditional manner: a Viking Burial.

09:00 AM

We prepared the vessel that was to carry the mindisc to its final resting place, in the consumer electronics equivalent of Valhalla.

09:15 AM

Early 1980s technological wizard Oliver Gasm offered to be Master of Ceremonies for the occasion.

09:30 AM

The ceremony began with Oliver reading the last rites from the warranty booklet.

It had long since expired.

09:31 AM

Overcome with emotion, John began to weep.

09:45 AM

Slowly and gently the vessel was lowered into the water and set on fire.

09:46 AM

As the raft drifted downstream the flames began to take hold, thanks mostly to the methylated spirits which had been used liberally in the vessel's preparation.

09:47 AM

Overcome with emotion, John began to weep.

09:48 AM

As the flames licked higher, we realised that no precautions had been taken towards the preservation of local wildlife.

At this point it dawned upon John that he had left a perfectly good pair of AA batteries inside the minidisc.

09:49 AM

Overcome with emotion, John began to weep.

Again.

10:00 AM

As a final insult, being only 10AM, the local pub was not open for the wake.

Overcome with emotion, and despite Oliver's pathetic attempt at consolation, John began to weep. The softarse.